In his weekly Funbag column, Deadspin’s Drew Magary is asked whether Beyoncé could convince more than 34 Americans to eat a stapler every morning if she claimed that it would help them lose weight. “If Beyoncé goes on the Stapler Diet, we’re talking about millions of people getting in on the fad,” Magary forecasts. “People are sheep, which is how Oprah can introduce a new thing every month and get people to buy it because they’re sick of the old thing she made them buy. Hell, I’d try the Stapler diet. I’m still trying to knock off 20 pounds. If you told me the stapler could make it happen, I’d choke down a Swingline and say to myself, ‘Hey, it’s not THAT bad.’ I could use the iron.”
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